journal excerpts- a piece o' me continued

07/10/08

Dear journal, 2day, kicked off quite dreary, managed to get my behind outta my bed 2 prepare Timi for sch, time ws abt 7:10 am alredi!.

After the whole jumping here and dere we got out of the house by 8:00 a.m!.. got him to sch just a lil’ bit late, and of cos Mrs Fasan won’t let me go easily, scolding, gisting and blessings kpa kpa( I luv dis woman sha)..

.. left the sch for café around 9:40 a.m, surfed for 2hrs.. mailed bossy a few lines from yesterday’s work and facebooked all the way!. Got outta the café and went to see Magic – had my first meal dere (Feso offered me rice) chilled till 2:00 pm rushed out to go get timi frm sch, butta Femi had alredi beaten me to it (lol) just wanted 2 av d feel again, its bin a while I went 2 fetch him from sch.

Before I forget I went to Funmi Odu’s school to talk to her about getting timi an afterschool teacher, which we got right dere in her school, .. Eventually a guy! He’ll resume with him on Thursday.. Teaching Math, English, Verbal and Quantitative Aptitude and Art…teaching days: Thursday, Tuesday and Friday.. God help us all, I just want the best for my Boy…

Saw Loose’s vid on music Africa 2day (it’s Okay) ws so ecstatic!...

Bossy called me in the noon, as usual giving instructions and keeping me grounded on my tasks, I like it, its working for me, my biggest heart desire right now is 2 move Loose Kaynon 2 anoda level in his career and make 101 productions one of the most talked-about Label/ outfit presently around.

Am not feeling too fly emotionally tho’ can’t seem tp put a finger on it but God dey... Tidied me up then left 4Scroll (page planning day of cos).. 5:00 - pm... after much, much by 7:06 Ed-in-chief was quite upsetting today, condemned my cover story called it rubbish & asked me not to bring such stories again, as if that was not enuff she walked away, making for the main door without saying a word about my pay, I made move by going after her 2 tell her I would be b4 she gets back and all I got was: “ehn okay” I just tried chopping it, did up my planning with Mfon who got d subtle tongue lashing 4rm me, eventually finished around 8:15.. Scurried out 2 get the MTV Base MAMA press conference thang, it ws scheduled to begin for 7:00pm, but at the time I got there (8:40pm) nufin had strtd , ran into PR & event mogul Tokunbo Modupe –@ the entrance.. see me o!.. was so Personality/fine man struck.. I got received in and later saw Bankuli, Sid… Apparently Mo’hits peeps were all in attendance, exchanged digits wit Bankuli shared few banters wit Sid then tried catching Shola Thompson to give him Loose’s DVD which I eventually did, before going back into the auditorium, O’ boy! It was a far cry from what I left behind some minutes back… showbiz/entertainment faces ; Jude Okoye, Clarence Peters, Nomoloss, Alex Okosi, Toyin Subair, Ohimai Atafo, Chigo Otefe, yeh DCC’s Chigo of cos I blanked her don’t ask me why..

Felt quite lonely but in d end spoke to a person or 2, shook my body D’banj’s tunes during his performance with d Mo’hit peeps, then said my goodbyes...Exit planet one around 10:30 pm got a cab right @ d gate, sang along wit d radio thru d ride, some tears dropping dwn my eyes... The feel and thot of being an underachiever dancing thru my mind, thots of loss, rejection sipping into my spirit, why? I just do not know, never the less, I tried to keep my mind in perspective…peace…

Got into the house arnd 11:05 pm my baby asleep, changed him into his pjyays, took my jewelries off and stared into the mirror & guess who I saw?.. dis no be hype or feel good yans!;I saw a pretty young black lady whom any good and vision oriented man shd luv & never let go off! As I pulled my wig and became bare, devoid of jewelry and my wig, I saw a rare breed and beauty… why I subject myself 2 aving relationships wit pple who don’t even value me beats me!, and 2day am saying? :I’VE HAD ENUFF!.. Dear Lord help me 2 always see this lady I found 2day, from now and thru my lifetime, show me how to have value for me, celebrate me luv me and do me better in Jesus name.. Amen the time is: 1:53 am so lets call it a day, Journal.